Taking a mile...

While up visiting my parents in Pennsylvania, I developed a new game with my chinchilla Leonard so he felt exercised and active. By game, I mean I rearranged some items in my old bedroom so that he had a great deal of free space to roam, while I laid on my bed, supervising. I had a large pile of items set to go to Good Will, which I isolated off in the far corner of my room, and utilized to block off the entrance to my closet (in which he would surely be lost forever). In having an entire room to run around in; dressers to climb on, Mommy to jump on, suitcases to hide in; despite all of these things, where do you think he most wanted to be? Exactly. The Pile and Closet of Doom. And it got me thinking. God provides us with so many blessings, so much space to roam free and to make our decisions, while he lays up in Heaven, supervising. And yet, what do we do? We still seek to roam in those places that God deems off-limits, when he deems them off-limits simply for our own safety and well-being. It's like the old adage, "Give them an inch, and they'll take a mile". God gives us so many "inches", so many blessings, yet we still remain unsatisfied. We want more. More blessings, more space, more inches. If only we could desire more of what God is already abundant in giving: His love, His strength, His grace, His mercy. ...I think I've found my New Year's Resolution. Desiring the "miles" God already wants me to take, from the "inches" He gives.

Leap before you look...

I like to plan. EVERYTHING. From what I will wear for an entire week's-worth of work, to a complete week of meals, painstakingly planned prior to penning my grocery list. When I'm bored, I even plan for my wedding. (Sidebar: I'm SINGLE. Lol.) Never wanting to be unprepared, I scoffed (yes, scoffed) at the voice of God when I sat in the break room at my job one Monday a few weeks ago and heard Him say, "Put in your notice on Wednesday." You see, school was looming in the near future, and there was the increase made to my commute when I moved 20 minutes even further from my job, so life wasn't quite looking like I thought it should. I had originally moved to Nashville to continue to blossom my long-standing career with music, only to find myself waking, driving, working, driving, sometimes eating, definitely sleeping, lather, rinse, repeat. No time for music. No time for school. No time for life. I prayed night after night for God to provide me an answer, yet now, as I sat in the break room, busy scoffing at my Heavenly Father, I couldn't accept the answer He gave. For all of my conventional "conventionalism", I could see no good coming from me leaving a great job, for no job at all. And yet, He stayed on me, pressing upon me the benefit of heeding Him. And so I did. Two days later, I had an interview with a part-time position at a job minutes from my home. I officially received that job today. It will afford me the salary to survive in Nashville, the hours to live life and make-merry, and all because I got out of God's way. There's a lesson to be learned in that. Now, I'm hardly advocating making major life decisions without thinking. I knew I had enough money in the bank to cover my bills for the next two months, and worst case scenario, my parents continue to encourage me to come home (...almost on a daily basis, in fact...), so I had options. But it came down to TRUST. Of the major life skills I continue to work on, TRUST is one of the more difficult ones. I think I find it easier to trust myself more than others because I know I won't let myself down. I'll go to great lengths NOT to disappoint myself. The same can't be said for every one else. But God isn't every one else. Life is full of leaps, but often I find the biggest leap is not the leap of faith to take an action, but simply the leap of faith it takes to TRUST. So sometimes, leap before you look. The result may pleasantly surprise you.

Welcome to The Baggage Claim

I began journaling on and off about 2 years ago. It was through that and the grace of God that I’ve begun to gain perspective and peace on my life, and what steps I can take to be living out God’s purpose for me. But one very important lesson I learned is that I have baggage. Obvious, yes. But it’s a truth that I think plagues so many of us, yet we refuse to acknowledge it. ...”Plagues” is a harsh word. That’s the other lesson I learned. I have baggage, and it’s okay. We all have baggage, and it’s okay. If we ever have that moment where we reach a place where we desire healing, we can’t ever hope to reach a place OF healing until we’re willing to own up to that baggage, to claim it. Our baggage is what brings us to a place of brokenness, of “unhealth”. It’s like that fear we need to face in order to conquer it. My baggage resides firmly in my former relationships. Once I was able to call it out for what it is, I can now break it down and with time, hopefully be able to conquer it, to see my patterns and change them.

I don’t claim to have all the answers. ...I don’t even claim to have half of the answers. But, I know that God has given me a heart for counsel, for advice. So, if you need some perspective on something going on in your life, I’m here to help.