The Fog...

The other morning, as I drove to work, the highway was consumed by fog. I could barely see in front of me, and couldn't see behind. In my field of vision, was only the small stretch of road I was driving. And that's when I felt the presence of the Lord. He and I had gotten into an argument just the night before about how I was too afraid to fully trust Him, and I found my current traffic situation to serve as a symbol for that. I could only see the road for what it was in the present; I couldn't look behind me, couldn't see what was ahead --- I just had to trust --- trust that there WAS a road laid out in front of me. Clearly I knew this to be true, as I'd been driving these roads for 6 months now ---but it was the idea of trusting God, not relying on my own sight, my own mind, my own memory.... I rely on myself a lot, mostly because I'm afraid of being disappointed by others. What a horrible place to reside, always waiting for the other shoe to drop! Always waiting to be betrayed, to fail or be failed, expecting it to just be a matter of time for the worst to occur. Where did I get such a notion? How did I get here? More importantly, how do I get out? How do I find a way to trust God? How do I find a way to trust His love, His guidance, His strength? How do I trust my own ears to listen, my own heart to hear Him? What is certain is that the road is there. But the PATIENCE for the road to reveal itself, that is the challenge.

I love it when a plan comes together...

Ever have that moment where you realize that every step you take, every move you make (short of being chronicled by Sting), has lead to one congruent purpose? As though the heavens themselves open up and say, "Hey, that's what that was for!" ...no?...well, wait for it. It's bound to happen. By all accounts, the past few months had been rather trying for me. In fact, I can reference quite a few occasions throughout the course of my life that have been "rather trying". But as time goes on, I learn these things were not without purpose. Each of these threads, good, bad, or trying, have served to make up the fabric of who I am, who I'm becoming, and who I'm meant to be. Step back with me for a moment; take a look at the big picture. Can you find moments in your life that when combined, created a path that led to a somewhat defining moment? Bigger still, even the relationships we have with people, those we keep, those we lose, all we come in contact with, lead to defining moments, and defining ourselves: the love of your life, whom you met through your new-found best friend, that you met at a church you randomly visited with a coworker from a job you received through the reference of your cousin, whom you hadn't spoken to in 6 years until you ran into them at a shoe store in the mall...Best part of that story: God saw it coming the whole time. He divinely orchestrates those beautiful "A-ha!" moments we get to enjoy here on Earth. He's like the parent that gets to constantly throw a surprise party for His children. Warm fuzzies aside, there's something incredibly comforting about that. Even when life feels entirely out of control, when those rather trying moments overwhelm us, force us to hit rock bottom, make life get really dark ---He's got it all covered. He's using those moments to grow us and shape us, those threads to fabricate us, make us stronger. The Biblical story of Joseph comes to mind. Despite his trials, he chose to recognize them as opportunities for divine growth, for building a foundation for his character as a man. God blesses those who honors Him in such a way. I look back on the struggles of the past; they are wounds, yes, but I feel like through the help of the Lord, I can USE these things for a purpose of good. I can say to someone "I know how you feel", or "I've been there before", and mean it, wholly and truly. So take a moment today to take a step back, and try to see the big picture your Heavenly Father may have in mind for you. Sooner or later, you and God can together say, "I love it when a plan comes together."

One Small Bird, One Big Moose...

Yesterday morning, while lazily lounging on the couch in my parents' living room (yes, I'm still visiting them in Pennsylvania; what can I say, they make it hard to leave), I was startled to hear the sound of a bird falling down our chimney and getting caught in our flue. I, along with my faithful family dog Jake, wrangled up a flashlight, gloves, a dishtowel, and a sturdy broom, and combined it with the sheer determination it would take to rescue this creature. Tragedy ensued, when I realized where this bird was trapped was completely inaccessible from both the inside of the house, as well as from the roof. Sadly, I could not save him. And it broke my heart.

The experience reminded me of a video clip I saw on Animal Planet the other day, where a local fire crew attempted to rescue a young moose from where it had fallen through ice and into open water. These men put heart, sweat, and strength into pulling this animal from its icy demise. ...Once it was freed, it returned to the hole and leapt in. These men too were heartbroken at their failed rescue attempt. But in these two stories I found a very important life lesson that I had yet to truly learn: You can't save everyone. I have friends, loved ones, acquaintances that I take a special interest in, because they appear lost or broken. But even through the immense power of prayer, and my love and compassion for them, they remain lost and broken. Because they CHOOSE to. Just like the moose, choosing to return to the frigid water to die.

You can't save everyone; least of all from themselves. But, despite that, you should always TRY. I couldn't save the bird in the flue, but I think how much worse a person I would have been to not even try. What good is it to have a good heart, yet no good fruits? It is in our actions that we are judged (by God, by others). So why not take some time today to extend a kind word to that friend you haven't talked to lately, phone that family member you've been arguing with...or try saving that moose you've been meaning to save.