Today got me thinking about insanity. Not thinking about it like it was something I wanted to try, just the very language of it. Why is it a good thing to be simply "sane"? But "insanity" is not the same as being "in sanity", with the prefix "in" meaning "not" or "without". If something is valid, we say it is "valid". If it's within its validity, we do not say "invalid", for that means it is not valid. "Incorrect" is not something meandering in its correctness, but in fact is "not correct", "Insurmountable", is I suppose, the inability to be ...surmounted? And "inability", for that matter, a lack of ability. (I know, the way this blog is shaping up, you're probably beginning to wonder if I decided affirmatively to try that whole "insanity" thing. But hear me out.) It also got me thinking about other words and phrases. What does it mean when someone says they're "in love"? Are they in a state of love, or do they only THINK they are in a state of love, which leaves them (and the person they share this love with) to actually be "inlove", or "without love". I'm aware that "inlove" isn't a word, but my point is, maybe it should be. For when someone decides they are out of love, it doesn't mean they've run out of love to give, they are simply no longer in a state of love with the other person. Why shouldn't we then, have a word that so concisely....surmounts...this state of being out of love? Breakups, of course, would be tricky. It would all be in the phrasing, the pacing of the words. "I'm sorry, but I'm inlove with you." "I know." "No, I mean, I'm not IN LOVE with you, I'm inlove with you." ...This new word might take a while to catch on, but give it time. I see potential. Perhaps you feel this blog is "inpoint" (not a word, but still lacking a point.). I'll leave you with this: LOVE is a very particular word. A word I feel is tossed around too loosely these days, without a real sense of the gravity behind it, or a real sense on how much gravity the other person will put on it. So, dear ones, be careful before you tell someone you're in love. Said too hastily, and you may soon find yourself "inlove".
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Single And Happy: One Woman's Year-Long Social Experiment to Find Fulfillment and Empowerment
Grabbed off of my Facebook page...originally dated February 2011 (perhaps this will teach me to be more diligent to remember to post in BOTH of my bloggy places) :)
There have been (ahem...plenty) of times in my life when I have been single; and many times in my life that I have been happy. But ne'er the twain hath ever met. I blame society. I blame TV. Sure, why not, I blame Canada. At 26, I am a smart, witty, attractive female, with the voice of an angel and the heart the size of Texas. But that is not enough. According to the world around me, I should have paired off and mated by now. I have watched countless friends marry and procreate (of which not all are significantly happier for it), and I have to wonder: Does the God I worship want me to run off with the first man who pays attention to me, just for the sake of fulfilling some socially-acceptable ideal of normalcy? No, I don't believe so. And yet, for whatever reason, I have been wired with this compulsion that in order to be someone, I have to be WITH someone. Frankly, I find this truly antithetical to what women of our time could and should be. Not to mention that this compulsion often has me chasing, and falling, for the wrong men, and ultimately getting hurt in the process.
So, I propose a challenge...
Beginning February 14th (fitting, as it is Valentine's Day, and by all accounts the most "romantic" day of the year), I will remain single for one full year. Voluntarily. During which time I will foster many (okay, at least 5) worthwhile platonic relationships with people of the opposite sex (of which I would normally pine for). This will hopefully serve the purpose of teaching me that not every man I feel an emotional or intellectual connection with is my soulmate, as well as developing a burgeoning social life here in New Mexico. I will also not text or flirt with men for the sheer result of emotional validation. ...cuz that's lame. Somehow I've developed this warped idea that a guy drunk-texting me "U r so hot", somehow makes me a viable catch for the male species. Be still my beating heart. Lol.
In the meantime, I will do a lot of soul-searching, comprised of many good, hard looks in the mirror (or "mira" as most of you know I pronounce it) to seek and destroy the old patterns and screwed-up beliefs that have otherwise caused me to fail (myself) in the romantic department. All the while getting to know this quirky gal I have become, and hopefully learn to love her in the process.
It will be hard. It will be painful. It will be arduous. It will be filled with nights of tears and empty bottles of merlot, but I feel it will be worth it. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Call me crazy, but I'm tired of being romantically insane. Lol.
Keep up with my progress on my blog, godslittleworkinprogress.blogspot.com, and feel free to join me on my quest. I also welcome suggestions of things I can learn/do in the course of this year (un-romantic-related), to grow. i.e. learn a language, train for a marathon, take up crocheting, etc.
Trisha's Sugar-Free Easter Blog
Found on my Facebook page...originally dated April 4th, 2010...
I know not what it is to suffer. Trust me, to hear me tell it, you'd think I do. I can complain with the best of them. But at my core, I know that I don't suffer. I've never had to suffer. I've STRUGGLED, perhaps; been met with obstacles and hardships, but I think I've found the difference. Jesus suffered. He was persecuted, beaten, stripped of his dignity and murdered brutally. He SUFFERED. I believe that struggle is something we bring upon ourselves; it is consequence to our actions. When people struggle financially, emotionally, professionally, romantically, it is usually due in some part to poor choices they have made. It is not heeding our better judgement (what I believe to be God nudging us in the right direction) and still taking a path we probably know we shouldn't. But we do not suffer. What Jesus had to endure, I do not believe were consequences of his actions. He was not making wrong or poor choices that brought him to a place where he needed to be taught a lesson. In fact, he was the MOST in-tune with a plan God laid out for him. And it is through Christ's suffering, that I can now struggle and come out the other side. That I can make dumb decisions and completely think I've destroyed my life, to learn, grow, and continue on. That God is present in my everyday, nudging me toward a life filled with less and less struggle. A life that I both love, and love to complain about. But a life nonetheless, devoid of suffering. So, may God meet you where you struggle today, and carry you through to a struggle-free tomorrow. ...and what this all has to do with rabbits, chocolate, and brightly-colored hidden eggs, I will never understand.
I know not what it is to suffer. Trust me, to hear me tell it, you'd think I do. I can complain with the best of them. But at my core, I know that I don't suffer. I've never had to suffer. I've STRUGGLED, perhaps; been met with obstacles and hardships, but I think I've found the difference. Jesus suffered. He was persecuted, beaten, stripped of his dignity and murdered brutally. He SUFFERED. I believe that struggle is something we bring upon ourselves; it is consequence to our actions. When people struggle financially, emotionally, professionally, romantically, it is usually due in some part to poor choices they have made. It is not heeding our better judgement (what I believe to be God nudging us in the right direction) and still taking a path we probably know we shouldn't. But we do not suffer. What Jesus had to endure, I do not believe were consequences of his actions. He was not making wrong or poor choices that brought him to a place where he needed to be taught a lesson. In fact, he was the MOST in-tune with a plan God laid out for him. And it is through Christ's suffering, that I can now struggle and come out the other side. That I can make dumb decisions and completely think I've destroyed my life, to learn, grow, and continue on. That God is present in my everyday, nudging me toward a life filled with less and less struggle. A life that I both love, and love to complain about. But a life nonetheless, devoid of suffering. So, may God meet you where you struggle today, and carry you through to a struggle-free tomorrow. ...and what this all has to do with rabbits, chocolate, and brightly-colored hidden eggs, I will never understand.
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